Happy New Year!
by A. L. Nowicki
Summary: The League celebrates New Year's Eve on board the Atlantica, ringing in the year 1900. Sort of like a little sequel to my last story. Still kind of in progress...
1. New Year's Eve on the Atlantica?

Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters, no matter how much I wish I did. The only character I own is Andre McCane, and he's such a complicated character, I'm not sure I even want to own him!  
  
Author's Note: This is just a stupid little story dedicated to everybody who celebrates New Years' Eve religiously, like I do. I know I promised one about Jekyll (for Panzergal,) but I thought I'd do a quick little one first before plunging into anything else as big as "The End of the LXG." So, I hope you all enjoy it (it's not as silly as my last one,) and remember to review. This story's only going to be about three chapters.  
  
*  
  
In the spa room on the top floor of the Atlantica, Mina Harker was relaxing in a bathtub filled with steaming hot water. In her right hand was a blood cocktail, her own recipe. Mina wanted someone to come in and massage her back for her, but just lying and soaking here was perfect enough. Life was good.  
  
Without warning, the door of the room burst open, and in came Tom Sawyer and Rodney Skinner. They were fencing with pitifully short fencing swords, and disturbing Mina's beauty rest. Pretty soon, Sawyer was on Mina's left, and Skinner was on her right. They were fencing right over her.  
  
"What is the meaning of this?" she screeched to them, a look of anger on her face. "This is what the fencing deck is for!"  
  
Sawyer put his sword back into the sheath on his belt. "Sorry, Mina, we just got carried away. We're so excited!"  
  
"For what?"  
  
"New Year's Eve, of course!" Skinner interjected. "It's tomorrow night, and the captain is planning a big celebration to ring in the year 1900. The young American lad and I are in charge of planning activities for the party."  
  
"Congratulations," said Mina sarcastically. "Now, can you please leave me alone? I really need some time to myself."  
  
"We're not done yet," said Sawyer. "Don't you want to know what you're in charge of?"  
  
"No, not particularly."  
  
"Well, too bad, we're going to tell you anyway. You're in charge of the menu at dinner. And normal food, you know. Not that kind of food," said Skinner, pointing at the drink in her hand.  
  
Mina forced a chuckle. "Fine. I'll get right on it as soon as I'm out of the tub."  
  
"When will that be?"  
  
"Well, if you two don't leave me alone, it's going to be forever!"  
  
Not wanting to be stuck with Mina when she was in an irritable mood, Sawyer and Skinner left her alone in the tub, then continued their playful swordfight as soon as they were out the door.  
  
"Ah, the good old fencing deck," Skinner said aloud as they left Mina's spa room. "Life is good, eh, Sawyer?"  
  
* * *  
  
The room on the fifth floor where the unfortunate Que Moriarty had met her demise months before had been transformed into a meeting room. Captain Nemo sat at the table, looking over the blueprints for the new and improved Atlantica. By now, he knew them by heart, but he still enjoyed looking at them. They never ceased to amaze him.  
  
Andre McCane never ceased to amaze him, either. Nemo hoped McCane would be able to come to the New Years' Eve party tomorrow night. It would be a shame if he couldn't, because the other members of the League were so excited about the year 1900.  
  
Sawyer and Skinner were, anyway. And Nemo himself sure was.  
  
Nemo hadn't spoken to Mina lately. She was too busy relaxing in a hot bathtub on the top floor and making herself those blood cocktails. But she was having fun; that was the most important thing. Nemo hadn't spoken to Jekyll lately, either, but he knew he wasn't having fun. Jekyll was still his same old melancholy self.  
  
Nemo put Jekyll at the back of his mind, got up from the table, and decided to go to the fencing deck to see if anyone was out there. He loved the Atlantica because he wasn't in charge of sailing it. McCane's crewmen took care of everything. Nemo could just relax.  
  
Life was good.  
  
* * *  
  
Life wasn't so good for Henry Jekyll. To him, the world was the parasite, and he was the prey.  
  
Lying on his bed with the embroidered curtains closed, Jekyll sighed and looked up at the ceiling. He didn't know what he could be so upset about. He had a large, comfortable stateroom furnished with luxury. He had a medical examination room built just for him, to examine any sick or injured passengers or crewmembers of the Atlantica. McCane had even thrown in an exercise room for Hyde, filled with weights to build up Hyde's already bulging muscles.  
  
"You're welcome to use it too, Henry," Edward had told him when it was completed. "You're ARE a skinny little shrimp, after all."  
  
"True," Henry had said.  
  
He had all this luxury at his fingertips, and yet, here he was in his room, moping on his bed. He had so much to be thankful for. So why didn't he just pick up a sword and head up to the fencing deck to have some fun?  
  
"Because of me," Hyde whispered in his head. "I make your life miserable."  
  
Jekyll sighed again. If only he could get rid of Hyde. Then life would be good.  
  
Jekyll was still dwelling on this thought when Nemo, who had entered the room so quietly that Jekyll hadn't even heard him, pulled back the curtains to his bed.  
  
"This isn't your ship!" Jekyll snapped irritably. "You have to knock when you enter someone's room!"  
  
"This is important," Nemo said. "I was on my way up to the fencing deck when I thought I'd come in here to tell you. We're having a New Year's celebration tomorrow evening, and you're in charge of decorations."  
  
A New Year's celebration. Maybe that would brighten his spirits.  
  
"Great!" Jekyll said in a forced tone of excitement. "What do I have to decorate?"  
  
"Just the main dining room and the fifth floor meeting room."  
  
"Wow, that's all? Don't worry, it'll be ready by tomorrow evening."  
  
Nemo wasn't so sure, but he decided to trust Jekyll anyway, at least for the moment. "Fine," he nodded.  
  
* * *  
  
A few minutes later, Nemo was standing on the sidelines of the fencing deck, watching Sawyer and Skinner as they battled it out.  
  
"So, you two are in charge of activities," Nemo thought aloud. "Mina's got the food. Jekyll's got the decorations. And I'm writing the guest list. Do we need anything else?"  
  
Skinner, who was now totally invisible, sure looked funny as he fenced with Sawyer. It looked as if Skinner's sword had a life of its' own, floating in midair like that. "I don't think so, Captain," Skinner said as he aimed straight for Sawyer's side. "Sounds good to me."  
  
"This is going to be a swell party," Sawyer added as he knocked Skinner's sword out of the way with his own. "A real swell way to ring in the year 1900!"  
  
Nemo continued watching their match. "A real interesting one, too," he added.  
  
*  
  
So that's the first chapter. Hoepfully, I'll have the next chapter up really soon. Remember, this is just a stupid little story meant to have some fun (like everything else I write,) so please keep that in mind when reviewing. Thanks!  
  
~ Alisonia 


	2. Planning the Party

I would like to thank Graymoon74, Dr. Logana Jekyll, and Clez for their great reviews! I'm glad that there are some others who think that this story has potential. It's hard to make a story realistic and funny at the same time.  
  
Okay, enough talk. I want to get on with this. Here's the next chapter, the party plans! It's kind of boring, but writing about people planning a party IS boring. You try it sometime. (By the way, I'm sorry the paragraphs in this chapter are not indented. The 'Tab' key on my keyboard doesn't work, and I don't know why. I'm trying to get it to work again, but it might take a while.)  
  
*  
  
"Okay, Skinner, we need to plan this right," Tom Sawyer said. They were in Sawyer's stateroom planning the activities and entertainment for the party. "We need to make sure that nobody is bored."  
  
"Right," said Skinner. "And I have a few ideas."  
  
"Such as?"  
  
"Such as myself putting on a comedy routine," said Skinner, grinning from invisible ear to invisible ear. "I know quite a few dirty jokes."  
  
Tom just stared at him. "That's a horrible idea. Mina will get disgusted, leave the room, and never talk to any of us again."  
  
"Okay, then how about this one? You and I can do an interpretive dance."  
  
Tom laughed. "Interpretive dance? That'll be hilarious!" He wrote it down on the piece of paper in front on him. "Okay, we can work on that. What else?"  
  
"We'll have to have a traditional champagne toast at midnight," Skinner continued.  
  
"Champagne toast," Sawyer muttered to himself as he wrote it down. He looked up. "How about some kind of contest? Like a chess tournament, or a fencing tournament!"  
  
"A fencing tournament!" Skinner said excitedly. "Write it down, Sawyer, write it down!"  
  
Sawyer wrote. "I'll have to telegraph McCane," he commented. "He might have more ideas."  
  
"Sure. Oh, I have one. If I can't tell my jokes, we'll have a joke contest. We'll go around the room, and everybody tells a joke. Then we'll vote on the funniest person."  
  
"It's an idea," said Sawyer, writing it down. Then he looked up. "Okay, here's what I have so far. Interpretive dance, champagne toast, chess tournament or fencing tournament, and a joke contest. Anything else?"  
  
"I still say a comedy routine done by yours truly," said Skinner. "If necessary, I will keep the jokes to a bearable manner."  
  
"Fine, a comedy routine by Skinner," said Sawyer, scribbling it down. "Come on, let's get in touch with McCane. I bet he has loads of ideas!"  
  
* * *  
  
"REAL food?" Mina asked, mocking Skinner. She was in her stateroom at her desk as well. "What was he thinking? Of course, I'm going to have REAL food!"  
  
Mina's idea of dinner was a dinner consisting of several courses, so essentially, the planning was going to take forever. She sure hoped that Sawyer and Skinner didn't have much activities planned for the evening. Eating a proper dinner was going to take a few hours.  
  
But she was doing it on purpose. She had no idea what those two had planned, but it was probably something horrifying, like Skinner singing opera. Skinner had actually tried singing once before, when the League had first come together, but stopped when Dorian had thrown his shoe at him and told him to shut up. Dorian loved the opera, and he said that Skinner was destroying a wonderful form of art.  
  
Not used to planning for a dinner party, Mina opened her desk drawer and took out an old photo album, filled with photographs of her and Jonathan Harker during their marriage. She opened it to the first page, a photograph of her and Jonathan on their wedding day, and put her fingers to Jonathan's lips.  
  
"Maybe Jonathan can help me," she whispered aloud to herself. As if the photograph had magical powers connecting the living with the spirits of the dead, Mina was suddenly taken by a rush of ideas. She started scribbling furiously on a tablet of paper.  
  
* * *  
  
"Edward, I need help."  
  
"When don't you need help, you worm?"  
  
Henry Jekyll sighed, but kept facing his alter-ego in the mirror of his stateroom. "Edward, this is serious! Nemo has trusted me with putting up the decorations for the New Years' Eve party tomorrow night, and I can't think of what to do."  
  
There was a long pause.  
  
"Henry, I have a brilliant idea," said Hyde slowly. "Just put up a few streamers, and let me take care of the rest."  
  
Henry Jekyll paused. "Put up a few streamers and let you take care of the rest?" he asked, confused.  
  
"Sure, worm. Trust me. This is going to be the best bash ever."  
  
"And you mean that in a good way?"  
  
"Of course."  
  
* * *  
  
Nemo was in his office later that day examining the guest list he had written (Jekyll, Sawyer, Skinner, Mina, McCane, and Nemo himself. Some guest list, huh?) when the telegraph machine sounded its alarm. The room was suddenly filled with the tapping of a message written in morse code.  
  
Nemo grabbed a quill and scrap piece of paper, and scribbled down the message as he heard it. After it was over, he looked down at the piece of paper to see what he had written.  
  
'Got your message about the party tomorrow evening, and I would love to come. Andre McCane.'  
  
"McCane's coming!" he exclaimed aloud.  
  
Unfortunately, Skinner and Sawyer were standing just outside the door when he exclaimed this. They barged into his office, excited.  
  
"He's coming?" asked Sawyer. "Wow, that's great! Nemo, can we borrow the telegraph machine? We want to ask him if he has any ideas."  
  
"Ideas for what?" Nemo asked. "Ideas for activities at the party?"  
  
"Sure," said Skinner, who was grinning, although nobody could see it. "We could always use input from others to make sure that everybody has a good time."  
  
Nemo shrugged. "Sounds fine with me."  
  
Sawyer and Skinner eagerly advanced upon the telegraph machine.  
  
*  
  
That WAS kind of boring, wasn't it? Sorry, but I just couldn't skip from the party announcement to the party itself. There had to be something it between.  
  
I hope to have the next chapter up before long, and remember to review! Thanks!  
  
~ Alisonia 


	3. The World's Best Lover

I was reading over the reviews when I came up with a great idea. Thanks to Clez, I now know what Mina will serve for the meal. (Before, I had no idea.) Thanks, Clez! And thanks to everybody else who has inspired me with their reviews. Yeah, Hyde doing the decorating IS going to be very interesting, and so will Skinner and Sawyer's interpretive dance!  
  
By the way, I think this story is going to be longer than I thought.  
  
*  
  
"My goodness!"  
  
Henry Jekyll gazed, open-mouthed, around the dining room. He had put up the streamers, just like Hyde had told him to. Then he had gone to his room, taken his potion, and let Hyde finish the rest. Now that the potion had worn off, he was able to glance around the dining room and view Hyde's work.  
  
The dining room looked horrible and beautiful at the same time. Half the streamers were torn down from the ceiling, but the ceiling actually looked good that way. Confetti was strewn all over the floor, as if Hyde had just grabbed handfuls and handfuls of the stuff and thrown it around the room in a fit. But the floor-and the confetti-looked beautiful that way.  
  
The walls were splattered with all different colors of paint. Red, yellow, green, and blue colors mixed together covered the cream-colored wallpaper. It was as if Hyde had opened the cans of paint, grabbed handfuls of the thick liquid with his hands, and tossed it angrily at the walls. But the walls looked like a Picasso painting! They were beautiful!  
  
The only thing that looked wrong was the "Happy New Year!" banner, which had been hung haphazardly from the ceiling over the dining room table. But that was no problem. Jekyll stood on a chair and fixed it.  
  
"Am I going mad?" Jekyll asked aloud. "Hyde decorated, but he decorated beautifully. The walls look like a Picasso painting!"  
  
"See, worm? I told you I knew how to decorate," Hyde taunted Jekyll inside Jekyll's head.  
  
Jekyll shook his head. "This is fine with me, Edward," he said aloud. "But let's just hope the others like it."  
  
"They'd better," Hyde growled. "Or else!"  
  
Jekyll laughed. "Nice work, Edward. Well done!"  
  
Jekyll felt Hyde smile inside of him.  
  
* * *  
  
"Mmmm," Mina Harker smiled as she tasted the blood soup brewing on the stove.  
  
"Just right!"  
  
While thinking about what to serve for dinner, Mina had had a brilliant idea. She remembered that Skinner had wanted her to cook "real" food. So she was going to give Skinner a taste of his own medicine.  
  
Mina had planned to serve tomato soup for the first course. The idea sounded simple enough, but Mina was planning to trick each member of the League. She was really going to serve them blood soup, pretending that it was tomato soup. When they tried it and discovered what it really was, she would go back into the kitchen, fetch the real tomato soup, and bring that out instead, with an apology for her dirty trick.  
  
It WAS a dirty trick. But thanks to Skinner, it was a great idea.  
  
* * *  
  
It was about time that her fellow members of the League had treated Mina Harker with a lot more respect. And Mina had found the perfect way to do it. This was one New Year's Eve that none of them were about to forget. "Okay, I don't know the first thing about interpretive dancing," said Sawyer to Skinner. "You're going to have to show me."  
  
"It's simple," said Skinner. "McCane agreed to read the poem. All we really have to do is take the poem literally."  
  
"Huh? Take it literally? What's that supposed to mean?"  
  
"First, listen to the poem, Sawyer." Skinner cleared his throat and picked up the piece of paper. "The World's Best Lover. By Mina Harker."  
  
"Hold it," said Sawyer immediately. "Won't Mina become upset when she realizes we're using HER poem?"  
  
"Not at all," Skinner smirked. "On the contrary, I believe she'll find it quite amusing. You see, this is a poem she wrote to Dorian when they were dating."  
  
Sawyer made a face. He had hated Dorian Gray when he was with the League. He couldn't believe that Mina had once dated him. "Mina thinks that Dorian is the world's best lover?"  
  
Skinner also made a face. "I know. Well, this poem is five years old. I don't think she believes it anymore."  
  
"Okay, so.we're basically making fun of this poem?"  
  
"Exactly."  
  
Sawyer laughed. "Yeah, I think she might like that."  
  
"Anyway, here goes again. The World's Best Lover. By Mina Harker." Skinner cleared his throat again and began to recite the poem. "The first line is, 'You are the apple of my eye.' Now, can you find a way to take that literally, Sawyer?"  
  
"Well," Tom thought. "Oh the word, 'you,' I guess we point to each other. On the word, 'eye,' I guess we point to our eyes. On the word, 'apple,' we can hold up an apple or something--"  
  
"Yes! That's it! You're interpretive dancing, Sawyer!" Skinner said excitedly. "The first line is, 'You are the apple of my eye.' Now, when McCane recites this line, we'll point to each other on 'you.' Then we get the apples and hold them up on 'apple.' Then we point to our eyes on 'eye.' 'You are the apple of my eye.'"  
  
Sawyer was getting excited. "This is going to be hilarious! Okay, what's the next line?"  
  
"The next line is, 'revolving slowly across my entire world,'" Skinner recited off of the paper.  
  
"'You are the apple of my eye, revolving slowly across my entire world.'" Sawyer thought. "Mina isn't a bad poet, is she?"  
  
"No, she's not bad at all!"  
  
"But the fact that she's talking about Dorian, it just makes me sick!"  
  
Skinner laughed. "I know, but we have to focus on interpreting the poem literally, not the fact that she's talking about Dorian."  
  
Sawyer tried to concentrate. "Okay. 'Revolving slowly across my entire world.'" He thought. "'Revolving' means to turn, right? So on, 'revolving slowly,' we'll turn around slowly."  
  
"Right! And on 'across,' we'll stretch a hand across the room, like this," said Skinner, doing so. "On, 'my,' we'll point to ourselves."  
  
"And on, 'entire world,' we'll make a big circle with our arms," said Sawyer. He demonstrated by raising his arms high above his head and bringing them down to his sides by stretching them out in a giant circle.  
  
Skinner squealed. "You've got it, Sawyer! All right, let's do that much of the poem again. Ready?"  
  
"Yep," said Sawyer. "This is going to be the best interpretive dance ever!"  
  
* * *  
  
By the next evening, December 31, 1899, all five members of the League were dressed their best and ready to begin the New Year's Eve party of the century.  
  
And what a party it was going to be.  
  
*  
  
The image of Sawyer and Skinner "interpretive dancing" to a poem Mina wrote about Dorian is so hilarious and unrealistic that I am laughing hysterically, even after I just wrote it. I just hope all of you feel the same way!  
  
If you wish to see the entire text of "The World's Best Lover," by Mina Harker, (with a little help from A. L. Nowicki,) it now up on fanfiction.net as a completely different LXG story. We can all have fun by imagining Skinner and Sawyer dancing to it.  
  
~ Alisonia 


	4. Dinner a la Mina

Okay, this chapter should be REALLY funny. I've tried to make it as hilarious as I possibly could without really changing the plot of the story. You all should be able to enjoy it greatly, so prepare to laugh. Also prepare to be deeply grossed out.  
  
Also, I'd like to thank all of the reviewers from both this story and the Mina/Dorian poem. Your comments are greatly appreciated.  
  
Without further ado, the League is getting hungry. But is this food really safe to eat? Get ready for Dinner a la' Mina!  
  
*  
  
Skinner, Sawyer, Nemo, McCane, and Mina were all staring at the décor of the Atlantica's Grand Dining Room. Skinner and Sawyer had their mouths wide open and their eyes almost popping out of their head. Nemo's eyebrows were raised awfully high. Andre McCane had an amused look on his face. And Mina just simply stared.  
  
"Like it?" asked Jekyll quietly. "Hyde helped."  
  
"The walls remind me of a Picasso painting," said McCane, that amused look still on his face as he glanced around the paint-splattered walls. "The whole room is very interesting." He slipped Jekyll a smile and a thumbs-up.  
  
"Very colorful," added Sawyer, a fake smile plastered on his face. "It gets me in the mood to celebrate."  
  
"I agree," said Nemo curtly. "Nice work, Jekyll. And Hyde."  
  
But nobody else had anything to say about the décor. Jekyll mouthed a thank-you to McCane, who just grinned at him.  
  
"Well, uh, let me get started serving dinner," said Mina, snapping out of her odd staring state. "If everyone would sit around the table, I'll bring out the first course."  
  
Getting glitter stuck to the bottom of their shoes as they walked, the five members of the League sat down at the table. Mina had assigned seats. Nemo sat at the table's head, with Skinner and Sawyer to his left, and McCane and Jekyll to his right. Edward Hyde had also set the table, which consisted of different-colored plates and bowls for everybody. The League members seemed to find this as interesting as they did the décor.  
  
"I don't want a purple plate," Skinner complained, holding up his purple plate. "McCane, can I switch with you? Blue is more my color."  
  
"Are you out of your mind?" asked Andre McCane, grabbing his blue plate and hugging it to his chest. "I LOATHE purple!"  
  
"Mina, can you get me a different-colored plate?" Skinner whined.  
  
"Get it yourself!" Mina groaned. She was struggling through the door with a large bowl of her blood soup.  
  
McCane stood up. Like the late Allan Quatermain, McCane was very respectful of the ladies. He helped Mina carry the soup bowl to the dinner table.  
  
This gave Skinner the chance to swipe McCane's blue plate and bowl. McCane saw what he had done and frowned. He stormed off to the kitchen to fetch himself a new plate and bowl of a different color. There was no way he was using purple.  
  
Mina ladled some blood soup into Nemo's red bowl first, then moved on to Skinner's blue bowl. "Nobody eats until the entire table is served," she announced. She wanted to be sure everybody tried the blood soup.  
  
McCane returned from the kitchen with a second blue plate and bowl, but Mina hesitated on serving him. McCane was the one person on the Atlantica that treated her with respect.  
  
But what the heck.  
  
"Mina, is this tomato?" Jekyll asked.  
  
"Yes," said Mina, filling McCane's bowl. "Feel free to dig in!"  
  
All five of the men raised their spoons to each other in a toast, then slipped them into the blood soup. They all tasted the soup together. And they all spit it out together.  
  
"Mina, this is very interesting," said Nemo, wiping his mouth with a napkin. "Now, would you mind telling us what you put in it?"  
  
But Mina was laughing too hard to answer. She had captured all of their horrified faces on film with Dorian's old camera. "No," Mina shook her head, smiling. "But knowing me, I'm sure you all can guess."  
  
"Mina!" exclaimed Skinner, shocked.  
  
Mina was still laughing. She disappeared into the kitchen and came back with a second soup bowl. "Here you go. Just empty your bowls in the first large bowl, and I'll fill them with the real tomato soup."  
  
Everyone was afraid to eat after that first escapade, but Mina's real tomato soup turned out to be delicious. Her second course consisted of roast beef tenderloin (which was cooked EXTREMELY rare, probably just so Mina could drink the blood,) but the League happily feasted on an assortment of fresh vegetables.  
  
"Note to self," said Skinner as he dumped some fresh green beans on his blue plate. "Never treat Mina with disrespect ever again."  
  
"Actually, I think we'd be safer never letting Mina cook ever again," commented Sawyer, who enjoyed eating off of his nice green plate.  
  
"Hmmm," McCane murmured, glancing at the pair of them. It was probably because of these two morons that he had been tricked into eating the blood soup in the first place.  
  
But Mina wasn't done with her little tricks. Her third course, French salad, turned out to be perfectly okay until Skinner found a bat in his and went hysterical (which turned out to be a plastic toy, as Nemo discovered.)  
  
During the fourth course, a dessert of vanilla ice cream, Mina got tired of ridiculing Skinner and wanted to reward those who had been especially nice to her. She served McCane's dessert in a different colored bowl than everybody else's. McCane was frightened about this until he realized what made it so special. While skimming it through with his spoon, he found a gold ring buried in the ice cream. As he dried it off and put it on his finger, Mina swooped by and gave him a rare kiss on the cheek. She still hadn't forgotten about the time McCane had cured her of a skin ailment, which had also been Skinner's fault.  
  
But McCane wasn't the only one who had gotten special treatment. Mina had poured chocolate syrup over Jekyll's ice cream, topping it off with sprinkles and a cherry. Jekyll had always treated Mina with respect. He had been awfully worried about her during her skin emergency.  
  
But Mina was back to her old tricks again by the fifth course, which was fruit, nuts, and coffee. She served the fruit and nuts on brand new plates, since the ones they had gotten at the beginning of the meal were now quite dirty. She gave Skinner a purple plate, and everyone else a black plate. Everybody refused to switch with him. Skinner was forced to eat off of purple after all.  
  
"Well, Mina, this meal has been quite interesting," said Jekyll, stammering to get his words right.  
  
"Yes, I agree," said Nemo lightheartedly. Sawyer, who was still upset that his ice cream didn't get syrup and sprinkles on it like Jekyll's had, just nodded.  
  
Skinner was surprisingly laughing. "All right, Mina. I'm sorry for everything I've done to you, and I understand that this was my payback. Do you forgive me?"  
  
"Of course," Mina smiled. "Just wanted to teach you a little lesson, is all."  
  
"Shall we move on to the other room?" asked McCane casually. "It's only nine o' clock, and I understand that Tom and Rodney have some great entertainment planned."  
  
Everyone else agreed. Mina remained behind to clean up the table. Leaving the dirty dishes in the kitchen sink, she reminded herself to do them later. She didn't want to miss Skinner and Sawyer's "entertainment" for the world.  
  
*  
  
Okay, I'm even a little scared about the next chapter, and I'm the author of this story. But be sure to leave your thoughts on this chapter by leaving a nice review!  
  
~ Alisonia 


	5. Slick Old Skinner

I was about ready to give up on this story. The writer's block was killing me. But I decided to push on.  
  
Now, brace yourselves against your chairs for the beginning of this next chapter! Skinner and Sawyer are about to perform their interpretive dance. Will it be funny? Or will it be the exact opposite?  
  
*  
  
"Our first act for the evening," announced Tom Sawyer, when the members of the League were seated and ready for the entertainment to begin, "will be an interpretive dance done by Skinner and myself. We will be dancing to a romantic poem."  
  
The members of the League burst out laughing. Skinner and Sawyer doing an interpretive dance, and to a love poem, of all possible things. This ought to be good.  
  
"The poem was chosen by Skinner, and Andre McCane has agreed to read it while we dance. McCane?"  
  
Andre McCane walked up to the podium. When Skinner and Sawyer were in their places on the stage, he started to read. "The World's Best Lover. By Mina Harker."  
  
Immediately, Mina rose from her chair and charged straight up to the stage, storming with rage. Her eyes glowed blood red, and the fangs began to form in her mouth. She lunged for Skinner.  
  
Skinner screamed and tried to escape, but Mina was too quick for him. She grabbed him and attempted to bite into his neck. In a flash, Sawyer was over to them, trying to force her off of him.  
  
McCane, however, reached into his pocket and produced a vial of something. He went over to Mina, and when Sawyer had her twisted in the right position, McCane poured whatever was in the vial into Mina's mouth and forced her to swallow. Immediately, Mina cowered and whimpered. She weakly fluttered around on the stage, gasping for air and choking.  
  
"What was that you fed to her?" asked Jekyll, slack-jawed.  
  
"Nothing too harmful," Tom Sawyer asked, grinning sickeningly as if he knew exactly what it was. He helped McCane pick Mina up and carry her down to a chair in the audience.  
  
Mina's face was turning a horrible shade of green. She struggled to cover her mouth with a hand.  
  
"She's going to be sick!!" Jekyll exclaimed.  
  
"Maybe so, but at least it won't kill her," Sawyer shrugged.  
  
"Mina isn't a natural born vampire. Only natural born vampires can die from garlic juice," McCane added.  
  
"GARLIC JUICE?!??!??!" Nemo and Jekyll leapt to their feet and stared, alarmed, at McCane.  
  
"Are you two MAD? That stuff'll kill her!!!" Jekyll shouted.  
  
"No, it won't. It'll just make her a tiny bit tired and nauseous," said Sawyer. "Enough to stun the vampire and let the actors get on with their show."  
  
***  
  
Sawyer and Skinner proceeded with their interpretive dance, but it wasn't as funny as it should have been, not with Mina half sickened, half knocked out.   
  
However, as soon as the dance was over, McCane reached into his pocket again and pulled out another vial, which turned out to be blood taken from his very own veins. He fed it to Mina, and Mina revived almost instantly.  
  
"That poem was my personal property!" she said angrily to McCane. "You shouldn't have used it!" Suddenly, she stopped her angry rage for a moment and went totally calm. "Hey, this blood tastes pretty good. Whose is it, anyway?"  
  
"Mine," McCane admitted. "Better, Mina?"  
  
Mina nodded, though still quite hurt. Andre McCane leaned over and kissed her forehead. He dug in his pocket and produced another vial of his own blood. "We're sorry, Mina. But for being such a good sport, here's more blood. Knock yourself out, kiddo."  
  
Mina smiled and accepted the vial from him. McCane had sure done his homework; bribery didn't often work with Mina, but bribery with blood involved was a whole different story. "Apology accepted from McCane, but not from Sawyer and Skinner."  
  
"Typical," Skinner told McCane. "Don't worry yourself over it, old chap."  
  
"I wasn't planning to," McCane laughed. "So, what's next on the entertainment agenda?"  
  
"Next is a comedy routine by Skinner," Sawyer reported.  
  
The rest of the League groaned.  
  
"I refuse to attend," Mina scoffed, the vial of McCane's blood still clutched tightly in her hand.  
  
"That's fine by me, Mina. But understand, now, that with your absence, you will be setting yourself up to be the butt of the some of the jokes," Skinner said, grinning at her.  
  
"Come, Mina," McCane smiled at her. "I'll go with you. Let's have a cup of tea in the dining room."  
  
Neither Nemo nor Jekyll wanted to sit through a comedy routine by Skinner either. Out of politeness, however, they both decided to stay, joining Sawyer in the audience.  
  
"Now, if anyone gets offended, just tell me, because I'll stop," Skinner smiled. "You know me. I have a tendency to be quite indecent at times. Actually, by being naked constantly, I believe I am quite indecent all the time!"  
  
Skinner paused and waited for someone to laugh.  
  
No one did.  
  
***  
  
"I hate Skinner!" Mina said angrily, pounding her fist on the dining room table. "I've hated him ever since I met him!"  
  
"He is quite an interesting fellow," McCane admitted, sipping his tea.  
  
"He is the most REVOLTING man on this planet!!" Mina screeched.  
  
"True. But you know, Mina, you don't help the situation. Your anger encourages him to remain the way he is. He gets his kicks from pestering you."  
  
"I know," Mina sighed. "For the year 1900, I resolve to develop more patience, especially with Skinner. What is your New Year's resolution?"  
  
McCane thought. "My resolution for the year 1900 is to be nicer to people."  
  
Mina almost choked on her tea she was laughing so hard. "But you're nice enough already!"  
  
"Sure. To you, maybe. I'm quite nasty to most other people. I think it's because I enjoy being alone, and I get angry when disturbed."  
  
Mina cocked her head and looked at him. "You know, everything about you intrigues me. Have you ever been married?"  
  
"Once."  
  
"Did she die?"  
  
"No. We divorced."  
  
"What was she like?"  
  
McCane laughed. "Why the sudden interest in my personal life?"  
  
"I'm just curious!" Mina admitted. "What was your wife like?"  
  
McCane sighed. "Her name was Batsie. Batsie Elizabeth Gerrard. We were married from 1876 to 1889."  
  
"Does she still live in London today?"  
  
"No. She went back home."  
  
"Where was she from?"  
  
McCane cringed and put his teacup down. "Mina, you wouldn't believe me if I told you."  
  
"If it's true, I'll believe anything," Mina admitted.  
  
McCane sighed a second time and picked his teacup back up, a trace of a smile on his face. "Let's just say she was from far, far away, okay, Mina?"  
  
*  
  
I hope to have the next chapter up before long. I think my writer's block is almost cured.  
  
Remember to read and review!  
  
~ Alisonia 


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